i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
