I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Alive.
So much puke
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
