just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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