Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
