it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
