I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
