so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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