she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's shark week go big or go home
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
