dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
