When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
