i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
