it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
