just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
