If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm having to shit out rocks
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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