And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
