We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
