I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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