His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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