i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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