I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i will never coherently bang her
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
