yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
