I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
