I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
pray to the hookup gods
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
