wat bout pragnant strippers??
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
