hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
