he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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