His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
