dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
