i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
