Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
