I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
