you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
