i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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