I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
