i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
