I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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