i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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