i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
