You made me cry and you don't even care
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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