dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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