how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
