The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
