I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize