The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
