It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
