wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
