If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
