Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
