so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
