nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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