Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
