just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
