I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
