For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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