You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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