please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Randomize