You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
